Authentic hypocrisy
15 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
I feel like every time I write a blog post these days I am starting off thinking “I don’t ever get to write anymore, so here goes some quick thoughts for the mean time”. For this edition of my tip-of-the-hat to blogging (I guess the name of my site is more and more apt), I want to help the world get one thing straight- the definition of hypocrisy. It just gnaws at my soul to hear it continually used incorrectly, and especially when this is done in attacking some aspect of life and ministry that we need to continue to push forward in. Here’s what happens: in striving to live a life that is good, moral, pious, righteous, etc. every single person has to wrestle with the measure of their own failure and weakness in these areas. Common responses can be understood by the popular Kubler-Ross stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). But, the utmost danger is involved by virtue of the temptation and tendency towards, and ease of, despair. It takes a lot of courage not only to continue to be good in any particular area or instance, but also to strive to be good when it is most tempting and difficult not to. Precisely at this moment, it is downright demonic to fall victim to the accusation of hypocrisy when it does not exist. Especially for Christians, for whom such claims are connected with the biblical theology that profoundly condemns hypocrisy as a fundamental point of foundation in the faith, this is quite halting and calls for great care and precision.
So for the sake of all the use and abuse of this word and this concept, I think it full and safe to simply call us back to the english definition of the word via the dictionary. Hypocrisy is being fake. That is all (though not all types of “being fake” count as hypocrisy of course). In the etymology of the word, it means to act or to play a part, emphasizing again the artificiality of it. Now I ask you this- Is a person who continues to laud a holy life and yet fails to live a holy life simply a phony? In many cases, no. Is a person who tells others that they need to do something a certain way, but doesn’t do it that way themselves, simply acting a part? Not necessarily. Is a person who works at living in a way that is moral and to uphold a reputation as someone who, while not perfect, is trying hard to get there, and yet fails miserably at some point, being a fake? Again, this is the wrong accusation altogether. Now, is a person who claims to be very spiritual and yet has no love for others, and in fact attempts to abuse others for their own ”spiritual” gain worthy of the label, “hypocrite”? Absolutely. Why? Because what she claims about hersself is simply not true. She is pretending to be spiritual, but real spirituality will always lead to the challenge in our hearts to love others. Of course, our love for others may be imperfect, fitful, and definitely full of failures, but to be satisfied with no love for others, adn indeed to be intentionally manipulative of them, is to demonstrate that one is not truly a person of spiritual pursuits at all.
Having said that, pleaes remember that it is one thing to see something contradictory in someone’s life and call it out as such. It is another to go beyond this to accusing that person of being a total fraud. Similarly, I think it is possible to have even areas of one’s life in which one runs perilously close to hypocrisy, and in which one needs to be challenged either to give up one’s projected image (to oneself or to others) or to change one’s behavior to better exemplify what one does indeed hold to in one’s heart (btw, gotta love the oneness in this sentence…). And yet, while this is true, it would hardly be fair (or even possible) for someone to know the other person’s heart well enough to level the claim of hypocrisy at them. Still, this happens with frightful frequency, especially in a generation of people who would rather never be told they need to change their ways. Nevermind that it is quintessentially a logical fallacy to respond with “Oh, shut up, you’re just a hypocrite”. It is usually also plainly not true that the one doing the challenging is in fact guilty of the crime of pretense.
Let me say this to conclude: many of us have probably met someone in our lives who we felt was probably a hypocrite when is came to morality/spirituality. But I want to posit that probably most of us were wrong about those people. I suggest that the real ones are a lot easier to see than the subtle ones most of us attempt to judge. They are out there, to be sure. But there are far more out there who are wrongfully accused of it. And that is a great tragedy to me. It’s hard enough to deal with the difficulties of sin and suffering in the world without the muddied waters of this mistake. So help me out, will you? Before you use the word, think, “do I mean to say that the person is a faker? a poser?” If yes, proceed (with caution) to use the word. If not, say (to yourself) what you really mean, like “that person has a double-standard” or “that person is not perfect” or “that person doesn’t follow their own advise”. or “that person doesn’t is unable/unwilling to do what they know is right”. This will make me very happy. Thank you.
